[Riley enters master bedroom]
Riley: “Dad?”
Ronda: “What happened?” (Shoots up in bed)
[Sean heads downstairs, flipping on lights as he goes.]
[Sean retreats back upstairs]
Me: “Should I whack it with a tennis racket or try to catch it in a garbage bag?”
Ronda: “Shoot, I don’t know”[Sean turns the corner into living room and small bat goes whizzing past at full speed then changes direction, heading back to kitchen.]
[Ronda enters den w Callie at full speed.]
Callie: (If Callie could talk) “Good morning World. Who wants to play? Where’s my dinner? Wanna go for a walk? Someone throw me my tennis ball. Holy shit, there is a big moth in the house!”
[Ronda runs for back door and escapes on to porch. Callie follows. Sean grabs latest issue of ESPN the Magazine and crouches in a defensive behavior.]
[Bat continues racing between rooms in fearful/agitated state.]
[Riley stands silently frozen to wall between foyer and den, looking like the little kid in Jaws when he first saw the shark.]
[Sean swats at bat and misses. Callie barks. Ronda retreats further into yard. Riley stands still. (Meanwhile upstairs Ryan remains in a peaceful slumber)]
[Bat races by again. Sean swings and misses again but bat seems to realize the open door yet still navigates way into kitchen again using Sonar. <–Proof Sean paid attention in science class or recently watched Animal Planet]
[Callie runs into house and barks at Riley who is standing near closet where we keep her food. Callie does not understand why her food service is delayed.]
[Bat flies back into den then living room.]
Me: “Callie, go see Mom. Look what she has” (Tries trick every pet owner uses to distract dog)
[Callie runs outside as bat re-enters den. I swing again and swear bat looked at me with the look of “Bitch, please!”]
[Riley remains silent, clutching her blanket and probably wonders why she just didn’t pull the covers over her head and wait for her alarm to go off.]
[Riley quietly heads back up to bed. Sean feeds Callie. Ronda heads back to bed. Ryan moves into REM sleep.]
[END SCENE]
So, how was your morning?
1 thought on “Are We All Going a Little Bat S%#& Crazy?”
Marty Soller ·
He’s the hero Upper Arlington deserves… He’s a silent guardian, a watchful protector. A dark knight.” Commissioner White